No toddlers were harmed in the making of this post.
With his ever increasing desire for independence, Hunter has recently developed Sudden Onset Toddler Tantrum Syndrome (SOTTS) where he will suddenly throw himself on the ground in frustration at his current situation. I feel for him, I really do, and so I thought I better explain why his tantrums are actually completely reasonable responses.
I wouldn’t put a pair of shoes on him without first taking the pair he was wearing off.
This is completely reasonable because as his mother I should be supporting him in his quest for fashion-forwardness rather than being yet another naysayer in the fashion industry.
I wouldn’t let him drink my coffee.
Well I should think this one is obvious, but in case it isn’t: withholding of coffee is cruel – it’s like I didn’t want him to finish his last minute essay “Wiggles Culture: Why are we still defining ourselves by colour?” before his 11pm deadline.
He couldn’t lift up the towel he was standing on at the time and I tried to help by moving him.
This is completely reasonable because how do I expect him to become a world changing innovator if I keep interfering with his problem solving opportunities. *Sigh*
I wouldn’t let him call the hospital off my phone.
This is completely reasonable because if there is an emergency in the future and he cannot call the hospital because I have hindered his attempts to practice we will all peril and it will be all my fault.
I restrict access to the freezer.
This is completely reasonable because what if he wants to try and fit 18 ice cubes into his mouth at one time, huh? Did I think about that? No, I only think about myself.
PS. Slipping on melted ice isn’t a safety concern, it’s a cheap and instant indoor water slide. Honestly, I should be old enough to know the difference.
He couldn’t eat the picture of berries off the side of the yoghurt container.
This is completely reasonable because he is old enough to make his own food choices and his desire is clearly to eat whole foods. He’s a purist and therefore should be able to eat the whole berries that are right there rather than having to resort to the processed berries that are all mashed up through the yoghurt like some sort of peasant. (He gets his healthy eating habits from me. Obvs.)
I wouldn’t let him stay sitting in the kitchen sink after washing his hands
This is completely reasonable because as his mother I should be encouraging, nay, enforcing good hand hygiene. 10 minutes is not nearly enough time to adequately wash, what with all these super bugs going around and everything.
When I peeled the banana he asked me to peel, there was banana inside.
This is totally reasonable because with the modern, out-of-the-box style packaging (see what I did there?) that food comes in these days, he probably (quite rightly) assumed he was getting something else. Like a banana shaped chocolate bar. I would’ve cried too.
So there are just a few reasons my darling son has thrown a tantrum recently. In all honesty, I do feel for him – it must be incredibly frustrating having limited control and even less emotional regulation. I try to think of these as learning experiences – after all, can you imagine if we didn’t have emotional regulation as adults and threw a tantrum because our sandwich wasn’t cut the right way?*
*actually in saying that I used to work in hospitality and that pretty much has actually happened.
**also not counting pregnant people here either because I think when you’re spending day and night carrying round a tiny watermelon while also feeding them and growing them a pancreas you’re allowed to throw tantrums if you want to.
Until next time!